I feel like most of the time life is challenging us on some level. Trust in Faith, in that the process is divinely led, and we hold some crucial role in this play called life, is hard to fathom most of the time. This last month's Sunday School Lesson was an intense one. As for most of the lesson, I had to break down on camera and process some hugely personal stuff. I didn't enjoy the process and felt put on the spot to do something public that was generally a part of my healing. This revealing and humbling work is a massive part of becoming a shaman. We are constantly put on the spot, embarrassed, and made to look like fools so that others can relax or trust us. I don't love this part, but it, too, is vital.
I put up this picture of me walking the Camino De Santiago in 2018. The Camino is a 30-day and 500-mile walk across Spain. It also wasn't my prettiest moment in life. I wanted so badly to be alone, to wallow in my sorrows and anger at the time. The Camino was a hugely social walk, and I felt like my life was on display. Whenever I wanted to hide, cry, and be alone, somebody would inevitably find me. I guess that is how we all sometimes feel.
I usually go through the Sunday School Lessons immediately and put them up for viewing. I have put it off this month because I didn't want to go through and watch myself fall apart. But, also, because I moved out of my place in Bend, OR, and hit the road for some nomadic work for the next few months. My guides told me to move to San Francisco, and I am unsure how I feel about this move. I have to trust in Faith in this message. Like many of us, I feel lost and uncertain of my next steps.
Finding our path, we often fumble, make mistakes, walk things back, wish we had done things differently, and want a redo. Yet, it is precisely here that we are learning. I don't know about you, but I haven't learned much from my wins in life. Being fully embodied, and rolling in creatively living, is uncomfortable and exciting. So, I am curious where the next few months will take me and us all.
I too will be trusting in faith.